How Konyo People converse

We were craving for some Auntie Anne’s pretzels so we walk all the way to Robinsons Galleria one afternoon. To accompany these delicious treats, we bought a cup of coffee at Mc Donald’s. There were no available seats there so we came back up to the Auntie Anne’s stall because there were two empty tables there when we left. The other table were then occupied by a girl and and a woman we presume to be her mom. The young girl is a student still in her uniform from what I think is from the school nearby. They were talking in a broken English dialect exclusively used by rich and pseudo-rich people from the Philippines.  This girl and the lady she is with are coños.

I did some eavesdropping but not really particular to what shit they are talking about but on how they talk. I had fun like I learned something new. I was always curious how the fuck they speak, their diction, the stupid accent and on how they construct their sentences. The coño thing struck me ever since I know of the term from the Filipino gangsta rap “Ilibing ng Buhay” from the remarkable 90’s.

As the two women talk, I know that their sentences are at an average of five words, usually ends with a question mark, a Tagalog word or a comma (based on the pause at the end of sentence). Listening to them was of course irritating but I was curious. It’s like a close encounter to another species or a science experiment.  The five-word thing reminds me on how I talk to a toddler. Hahaha. Oh God the accent. From experience, I know that immersion to other people’s accent in a long period of time will make you aquire their accent too, so immersion to these type of people is not advised. There’s nothing wrong with talking in English but the way they talk sucks.

Before they leave, the girl approached a lady crew of Auntie Anne’s and she spoke in Tagalog. I hope she doesn’t see the Tagalog language the same way as the infamous Manila Bulletin writer James Soriano who sees the language as in his own words, "the language of the streets". Fuck that guy.

My English is not that good but hell I don’t talk like they do. They are worse.